Contemplation and Completion

On my "to do" list--read new writers, finish my short story, write new poetry, submit to journals and magazines. I took Frank X. Gaspar and Franz Wright with me on my writing weekend. Time away makes me want more time away! Instead I'm creating my lessons for a new class, reading student work, booking readings. Most writers I know are working writers--trying to string together a living while writing and publishing, if they are lucky and persistent. Many of us dream of more time to write but there are real constraints like health insurance and the fact that most writing doesn't pay enough to live on. I'm not sure if having a lot more time would make my writing better. There are many writers who have day jobs. Surely there is intellectual stimulation in the act of teaching--sometimes too much. Reading books to consider for my classes is exciting. I want my students to love this stuff as much as I do but truthfully only a handful will each semester. For the rest, I hope they come out thinking that literature is a catalyst for change. A story can instruct, reframe, anger, comfort and more. A poem can be meditative, explosive, terrifying, joyful, or sad--as long as it makes the reader feel. I don't want to be the writer sitting in a room with my cup of espresso and Bach on my iPod. I need to interact, grieve, teach, and help. When I slow down, I call up all the images from my cluttered life, trying to make it into art.